By Dorcas Sarkozy
So sorry to hear/read about the dissolution of your 2nd marriage.
It must be hard, given the timing of the news â€“ the festive Holiday Season â€“ when family and friends get together.
With this latest news about your private life, the saying â€śPeople who live in Glasshousesâ€ť comes to mind.
However, I see your situation as that of someone whose life has been lived in a fishbowl and with that, the accompanying voyeurism and sanctimony most, present company included, indulge in.
I am not here to judge you or the choices youâ€™ve made because as previously written, no one knows what happens behind closed doors and even more specific to your marriages, no one knows what happens behind a coupleâ€™s bedroom doors.
What I do know is that you are single â€“ again.
What I do know is that you are a mother to two little ones â€“ each from either ex-husband.
What I do know is that with this latest turn of events re: your personal life, tongues have been set-a-wagging â€“ again â€“ and none of those whose tongues are now fluttering know the truth about your life other than what youâ€™ve presented â€“ on social media.
Ms. Lillian, Liam and Joshua need your full and undivided attention â€“ away from the public eye.
Ms. Lillian, itâ€™s no longer about you and/or your life anymore.
It is about the physical and emotional safety and well-being of the little ones who did not choose the lives you and their respective fathers hoisted onto them.
Guard them with all you have.
Guard Liam and Joshua with your life and remember, they need BOTH their parents to love them more than they hate one another!
And as boys, they need their fathers.
Lillian, you must love your children more than you hate/dislike their fathers â€“ and do so away from prying eyes and loose lips â€“ ALL waiting for your next slip-up â€“ which will come sooner than you realize.
Why? Because you and your co-parents are humans and along with being human are the requisite frailty and foibles therein.
Lillian, even as you co-parent your flesh-n-blood, nourish your spirit, your body and your soul so that the strength and beauty that I have always believed is inherent in all of us, comes through â€“ for you and your boys.
I read somewhere that life is a series of doors â€“ which open and shut â€“ invariably for a host of reasons.
I am sure that there are decisions that given a chance, youâ€™d do differently. This truism makes you and the billions out there human!
Embrace who you are â€“ warts and all.
Internalize the lessons learnt, not only from the two marriages, but from the totality of Lillian Muliâ€™s life, because yet another door will open, sooner more than later.
You want to be ready and in the proverbial â€śgood placeâ€ť when that door opens.
Let me finish this open letter with lines from a favorite poem â€“ â€śThings Desiredâ€ť or as it is popularly known â€śDesiderataâ€ť :
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.â€ť
All the best MaLiam and MinJosh:
Most of us are rooting for you to succeed.