Uhuru Spokesperson Kanze Dena Comes Face To Face With Raw Haters, ‘Stripped’ But Walked A Way Confidently


Haters Of KANZE DENA And Their Limits Of Ignorance
By Albert Nyakundi Amenya aka The Banana Peddler

Yesterday, Kanze Dena performed her first official duty as Statehouse spokesperson. The girl was elegantly attired in a navy blue suit which corroborated with the red carpet made her look extremely beautiful. With a slim, provocative figure, Kanze had an exciting, exotic look, her sparkling, sloe eyes, slightly cheekbones, and smooth charcoal-colored hair which she wore long and stylishly simple behind the coat of arms, she looked pulchritudinous. Nature took care of the rest.

Now, when the girl was done briefing the nation, there are these keyboard terrorists cum Facebook celebrities who kept traducing her for verbalizing in our national language. They were quizzical on why she elected to go the Swahili version and avoided our official language English. Above all, they thoughtlessly concluded that my girl knows no English. What a shame. What a torrent of disgraceful verbiage.

You see, these are the people my literature professor used to christen hopeless sharecroppers back in campus. These plonkers ignorantly hurled oral stones at Kanze yet they can’t match her IQ of 170. These are humans whose wizardry is limited to the streets of Facebook and Twitter. They have disqualified themselves as people whose work can be of any reckon. They cannot be trusted by the people. They have no image to protect. The public cannot hold them to account. They take pleasure in hiding behind keyboards to blemish other people’s reputation. They are perilous villains hiding to pillory their subjects. Their greatest achievement on the earth is amassing more likes and comments.

To confirm their outright unawareness, they went as far as explaining how communicating in English buttresses one’s learnedness. These boys don’t know Kanze well. They haven’t heard her brilliantly mouthing lexicons with her unparalleled prowess in grammar. She has proved beyond science that she is an accomplished grammarian. By the time these Ninjas customize their ignorance with the fact that her amazing gift of the gab is second to none among them, they’ll have their ancestors to blame.

Kanze’s whimsical sense of humour will someday prove these Facebook “grammar gurus” wrong and wipe away their satanic premonitions. Kanze has been growing victorious and successful by the say. The gates of hell cannot prevail against her because the spirit of God that nurtured the idea has not left her. Rather, it keeps injecting new ideas that keep the flames of her glittering career burning very brightly.

Kanze is a fighter and an activist. She fights for the progress of her nation. She often takes on both the high and the mighty whenever she realizes that the rights of women are infringed. She voices her opinions freely and grants that Kenyan woman have inalienable rights to freedom from oppression. She always strives to get her facts right before venturing to put her beautiful lips to service.

Kanze is a silver-tongued egghead whose grammar flows unconstrainadely. She is intelligent and properly lettered. But then again, Swahili is the only national language that transcends all levels of illiteracy. Kindly pipe down on this pulchritudinous girl and let her enjoy her new job. Give her a break. Please. “A still tongue makes a wise head”

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(The writer sells bananas in the streets of Kisii town)

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