Sometimes back, I attended a training course organised by Manpower Consultants.
During the third day of training over cocktails, I came to realise that of all the ladies in the brainstorming room (and they were a dime a dozen), only a couple were married.
The rest were tired.
Tired of meeting men who want them to pay their bills, tired of men who have ran away from children’s upkeep, tired of men who don’t call or SMS or cook or pull their chairs or stop holding their beers only for a second in order to hold them.
They did not even give me the chance to digress.
The room was charged with cynicism.
Above all the moaning, the ladies missed something vital – and that is that you deserve the man you get.
In fact, you attract the men you deserve.
They may not know it but it’s women who largely fuel the habits of men.
Here is an example.
If John and Christine who have been dating for two months set up a date and John pitches up two hours late with a flimsy excuse or none at all and she shrugs it off, that is the is the beginning of a habit so don’t be surprised if he is late again and again.
But if Christine puts a cap on it the first time it happens by causing a decent stink, you can be sure next time John would send by the minute update when he is running late.
If a woman bails a man out on rent thrice, then he’ll always expect that she can do it the fifth and sixth time even when he can afford it.
Nearer home, you saw it with Joseph Irungu and Jackie Maribe.
If Jackie had said ‘no’ the first time Irungu ‘forgot’ his pair of boxers and/or toothbrush in her abode, Jackie would be reading the Prime News today in the evening at Citizen TV.
Back to the narrative.
Habits give rise to trends in relationships and we all tend to settle into things that we know – things that provide comfort.
The reason why we are all slackening as men is because there aren’t any strict gatekeepers to keep us in line.
The point here is that the front a woman presents dictates how she will be treated by her man.
To tell what kind of a woman she is, you need only to look at the kind of man she is with.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the heart of the matter.