Dear Dennis Itumbi, Leo ni Leo, Resist Being Confined to Jacque Maribe’s FriendZone


By Silas N

Women are black and white. If she doesn’t feel you, she doesn’t. You can buy her gold, emeralds, diamonds and everything but if she is not into you, she is not. To beat this, they friendzone you, with some measured gifts. You can get a kiss. Occasionally, she may use your chest to relax. If she is too lonely and hungry you can get ginene as one of my friend calls it.

Beyond that as a man, you will waste your time with her. That is why as soon as a woman points me to the friendzone I ran faster than Usain Bolt. Because once you are in the friendzone, and you accept that fate, you will be sent to most mundane tasks. Some can be so disrespectful.

Like my friend who recently went out with one of the finest women in Nairobi. He slept on the couch. When the main man came, she woke him hurriedly at 6 and told him the main guy is coming home, so she would appreciate if he left. He left politely and he says he will go with the indignity to the grave.

What I am saying is that that boy can write a million poems, but if he lives in the friendzone, he will been used and dumped again and the girl will move on without feelings.

Epukeni friendzone.

In the other news, Caroline Gikush got a special advise to some of us..

Dear Social Media friend,
Remember I don’t know you in the real world. The picture you paint of your self out here is the picture I will buy. Here I dine what has been served to me.

If you pose in this world as a slut, that is what I know. Don’t post pictures of you posing in compromising positions with a legion of the opposite gender creation then issue threats “You don’t me”….Oh, I know you as a Sexterpreneur in the social media realm.

If you have been pretending to be married when you are single, my friend… You are married.

If you act like you are doing very well, people will borrow you money. In the social media planet, we don’t know of your private fights with your landlord over rent arrears…

If your political enemies have planned to finish you buy leaking Images of you kissing your sister in law and made them go viral, my brother… We are not calling heavens to confirm. You are a Hyena by default.

The message is…. Paint a true image of yourself.
Don’t blame us for believing what you have made us believe…


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